Today the hubs and I celebrate 5 years of marital bliss (and almost 18 years of being together). Most times it doesn’t feel like we’ve been married five years. Other days, it feels like we’ve been married 15 years instead! Being married certainly isn’t for everyone, and there are certainly days I’m not always sure it’s for me. But in the past five years, I’ve learned a lot about being a wife and partner.
Being married is HARD
I know it’s so cliche but it’s the truth. When you’re married, you have to take other people into consideration whenever you make decisions. While the hubby and I tend to lead pretty separate lives, the big things matter. Whenever there’s a decision that affects both of us, it’s something that we have to talk about and come to an agreement on. There are times where it can sometimes feel as though it’d be easier if it was just me. But then there are other times where I wouldn’t want to NOT be married. Marriage takes work.
People change
One of the benefits and downsides of being with my hubby for so long is that we know each other so well. It makes our changing attitudes about things hard to reconcile because we can both point to a time when we didn’t act, think, feel, or do certain things. But being with someone for more than half your life means that change is inevitable. Dealing with that change is what can make or break a marriage.
It’s important to laugh
My husband has always had the ability to make me laugh so hard I cry. Laughter in a marriage is important. For me, it means that we still enjoy each other’s company. Laughing with my husband helps me to connect with him. It lets us grow on a deeper level.
Deciding to be & stay married is a decision you make every day
I don’t fault people for leaving or staying in their marriages. Marriages end every day for a variety of reasons. And one of the biggest things I’ve learned is that being married is a decision you make every day. There are days where it’s easy to be married. And there are days where it’s hard. Choosing to stay OR walk away from a marriage is a decision that comes when looking at your marriage as a whole. Are you happy most days? Sad? Angry? Ambivalent? All of those things play a role in deciding that marriage is something that I want with my husband.
I’m blessed that I’ve been able to be married to my high school sweetheart. Although we’ve definitely had our ups and downs both within and before our marriage, I’m happy that I get to go through life with him. Help me cheers to years and years of happiness.
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