If you’ve been a follower of me on Instagram, you already know that I keep my circle small. Every since I was a kid I had 5-6 friends at most. When I was in elementary school, my circle of six friends was all girls. Into middle school that dwindled down to just about two really close friends. In high school, all my friends were guys. My five “brothers” that you hear me talk about on The Swirl & Sip Podcast. Into college, I shied away from having female friends. I had had a bad falling out with my one female best friend in high school and just didn’t really trust many women.
And it stayed that into adulthood. For most of my adult life, my circle of friends consisted of my high school guys and one or two girlfriends. I didn’t like the “pettiness” of most women. Drama with my guy friends and their respective girlfriends solidified that I was fine not having a girl tribe. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I started letting women in. I had my happy hour ladies – we went to happy hour every Thursday for over a year straight. I had my lunch ladies – two coworkers I ate with every day. And then, the year Stokely was born, three women who I was already friends with, decided we would start having wine nights once a month. Now these weren’t brand new ladies. They had come to Halloween parties, weddings, and baby showers. But weren’t extremely close. Our wine nights changed all of that.
Having my wine night tribe has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. In these ladies, I have found women who uplift, push me further and challenge me. For three years straight, we’ve met once a month for wine and laughter. We’ve gone on family trips and girls’ trips. They’ve become family.
When you have the right kind of friends, it can truly be life altering. The notion that women are petty or bring drama, while certainly true to an extent, doesn’t amount to how much they can push you higher, root for you, and celebrate you when they are the right people. There are so many negative examples of female “friendships” on TV. Positive female friendships are rarely seen or celebrated. If you were like me and didn’t think you need ladies in your life, I encourage you to look for your own tribe. They’ll become sisters you never knew you needed.